Good morning!
A few weeks ago, I was speaking at a conference in Las Vegas and a few weeks after that, I got to see the results of the evaluations that were done at the end of the presentation. When I opened the file and saw a 3.4 rating, I gasped. I thought it went fairly well; much better than a 3.4 out of 5.0 rating would indicate. It was only when I took a closer look and realized it was 3.4 out of 4.0 that I was able to exhale.
Taking a look at the individual numbers, there was one person who absolutely hated me and my presentation. He or she gave me the lowest possible rating right across the board, thus dragging my average down.
The day after this, I noticed a post of mine had blown up on LinkedIn. I post content every day, sharing tips and hacks and ideas for sales growth. Most of my stuff garners anywhere from a few 100 to a few thousand impressions. This particular post had gone over 177,000 with close to 700 reactions (i.e. likes) and 37 re-posts. Comment after comment was overwhelmingly positive. But then, this one guy from the UK absolutely lost his mind with vitriolic comments towards my post. I responded, as did one other, and he dialed it back…slightly…the following day (while adding an insult toward Americans that I let go), but his over-the-top reaction had me scratching my head the next day. What’s the best reaction to negative feedback?
The worst—yet, easiest—thing to do is to ignore it. The hardest—and recommended—response is to engage three words, Tell me more. After you absorb the body blow* and if you have the opportunity, follow Stephen Covey’s advice: Seek first to understand and then to be understood. My father would add: You learn nothing with your mouth open. Appreciate the other opinion and listen carefully. There are several lessons in this advice and see all of it as making you better.
Enduring such difficult conversations might raise your anxiety level, but if you can navigate the rough seas, the rest of your job is a breeze.
Sadly, hater’s gonna hate (hate, hate, hate, hate). So shake it off, shake it off.
*People have every right to their opinion and even if someone pops a vein expressing it, you can’t let this affect you—simply shrug and move on—so long as you are following the advice in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements:
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don’t take it personally
- Make no assumptions
- Always do your best.
