Last month, I was at a social event. It was a cocktails and small talk nightmare where lots of inane chatter is exchanged until your spouse gives you the “Let’s go” look.
A couple approached us. They had just arrived. He was a guy I’ve known for a few years but haven’t seen in a while. We said hello and shook hands and he introduced me to his date. I said, “It’s nice to meet you” and she replied with:
“It’s nice to meet you, too” and then continued with, “I have zero desire to be here. Hopefully, there is someone nearby that I know, at least someone more interesting to talk to than you. Tell you what, you go ahead and talk and I will listen occasionally. In the meantime, I’m going to scan the crowd and hope for a familiar face.”
Nice.
There were two parts to that reply. The first part, “It’s nice to meet you, too,” was audible. She spoke those words. The second part was no less true but completely unspoken. At least not out loud. The “talking” was done by her eyes and head and she practically screamed her displeasure. It didn’t take a mindreader to figure out she had as much interest in this event as Americans do in major league soccer.
Most people are easy to understand if you are watching their body language. The trick is to pay attention and that shouldn’t really be a trick at all. Hear the words but believe the actions. How people truly feel is demonstrated physically. It’s in their eyes. It’s in their frown. It’s in their shoulders.
Pay attention.
